Doubts
by Hime no Ichigo
Summary: [Shounen ai: YamixYuugi] [oneshot] Yami doubts if loving his other half is right. A closer look at how Yami’s mind works. [birthday fic for Seventh Sage!]


Princess Strawberry: All right, in a desperate attempt to make Ari-chan stop liking angst so much (which is virtually impossible), this is for her! Happy birthday, girl!

**Pairing**: Yami/Yuugi

**Genre**: Romance

**Rating**: PG-13

**Story Type:** One-shot/birthday ficcie

**Summary**: Yami doubts if loving his other half is right. A closer look at how Yami's mind works.

**Warnings**: Yaoi, like any other fic I do. XD

**Keys**: "Normal speech", Thoughts of Yami', _Yami's "conscience's" voice'_,_ Flashback_, /Hikari to Yami/, //Yami to Hikari//

**Disclaimer**: No own YGO! No sue! 

~*~

**Doubts**

_~by Hime no Ichigo_

~*~

Was this right?'

_Was _what_ right?'_

Loving aibou.'

_'_

I heaved a sigh, and stood up. I've been pondering over this matter for a couple of months now. Only when aibou is at school am I allowed to think so freely, but my inner conscience never co-operates with me. 

Nothing changed. The room was still "dark and dank", as Shadi had once described it. The pillars and walls were still labeled with hieroglyphics. But the stairs and doors stopped their ever-switching pattern. 

So did this mean what I am thinking is right?'

The balance tilted a bit inside my soul room. 

This has always been a place of solitude and security for me, but lately it has been penetrated by a certain person. Oh, don't pretend you don't know; I see the answer glistening in your eyes mischievously, taunting me. But it was always out of my reach.

I sighed. True, in my past life, I was taught to be cold and heartless, to be fit as a Pharaoh. But there was a difference. I reserved some time in my hours becoming friends whom were loyal to me, despite our backgrounds and heritage. They didn't mind I was of royalty. We had had a _great_ time together.

_Too soon our friendship had to end. It was a bitter moment – fighting for both sides – one for freedom, one for control. It was ironic, too. My friends turned a cold shoulder on me as I watched helplessly, fires dancing in front of my eyes, people screaming, sparks cracklingeven Ra had hid himself behind the mountains. My advisors, noting I was "out of it", gleefully took fully advantage of my silence and burned down more villages._

_More yelling and desperate cries._

_The cries never reached my ears though; part of my soul was gone, taking away happy memories. I swore I would never forget that day, the day my country died in my own ruthless hands._

_They played me as a puppet._

My soul room shifted, uncomfortable. I eased into another painstaking memory.

_"Noooooo!!"_

_My heart wrenched at the pitiful figure in front of Mahaado's tablet, crying._

_"Mana" I vowed I would never feel love, or love, again, but the sacrifice my one true friend did_

_"Please, my Pharaoh!" she lifted her tear-filled eyes and begged me. "You have the power to open the portal of the Shadow Realm! Please, let me see my Master again" she broke off as a new wave of tears overtook her once more._

_Isis put her hands around Mana's shoulders in a comforting manner. I silently thanked her, knowing that women had the better skills of solace. She nodded and smiled, having acknowledged my gratitude. "Mana, do not disturb the injured Mahaado's spirit just yet. Besides, you do not have enough will power to see spirits. Now you must continue Mahaado's will"_

_Mana fell silent. Her eyes took on a determined look after Isis finished. "I will. You will see, Master Mahaado, I will become an outstanding magician, just like you"_

Her face blurred and voice diminished. 

"Stop" I murmured, stumbling around in the dark. "Stop torturing me with visions of the past, I've had enough"

_No',_ my conscience responded. _You need to figure out your feelings. Find out through your memories.'_

I was perplexed, to say the least.

~*~

"Tadaima!"

"Okaerinasai, Yuugi!" Jii-chan called from the Kame Game Shop.

I left my soul room to the "real" world in my solid form. //Aibou?//

/Hai, Yami?/ Even his mind-voice sounded cheerful.

//Dokorasama?// [1]

I got no response. _Kitchen_, my mind whispered instantly.

I was correct. Aibou was busily rummaging through the cupboards, looking for a snack perhaps. He turned sideways a bit when I crossed the threshold.

The next instant I was lying on my back on the ground with a heavy weight around my middle. "YAMI!" He squealed excitedly.

I chuckled. Too hyperactive, like always. "Hey, aibou," my hand itched to stroke the silky hair that adorned his head. 'I wonder what he uses to keep it so soft_'_

"Yami, Yami, guess what? My short story – it got submitted to the contest!!"

"That's great, aibou!" I congratulated him. "What's the story about?" Curiosity overtook me.

Yuugi stood up, flushed. "Well, it's about this girl finding her true love in the rain." [2]

I raised my eyebrow. "You wrote astory?"

"Hai," he murmured, looking away.

"Aibou," I grabbed his arm, my other hand raised to lift his chin up. He was staring at the ground determinedly. "Aibou, look at me" I put a little force in the tilt. He grudgingly looked up, regarding me with a somewhat downcast stare.

"I wasn't laughing at you," I said softly, leaning in a little closer. His violet eyes seemed to clear up a bit at the reassurance. "It's justyou've never written a romance story before. Well, not that I know of," I added hastily, seeing the corners of his mouth starting to twitch downwards again.

"Gomen nasai, I guess I shouldn't have reacted so bad, ne?" his gentle laugh echoed softly around the kitchen.

"It _was_ rather unexpected news"

"Why don't I explain it to you? Come on, let's go into the living room" he tugged at my hand, leading me. I cherished every single moments every time aibou made contact with me; just the two of us, and then warmth would fill me instantly, even at the simplest touches.

Once we were seated, he began how the inspiration hit him. "It was maybe a month ago, before Kimoka-sensai gave out the assignment. Remember that huge downpour followed by thunder and lightning? Yea, that was what made me do it. I've been doing a bit of research', if you call reading a bunch of stories on this genre _research_." He gave a tiny laugh. "Often when it's raining a girl would find refuge under someone's – usually a male's – umbrella. Of course, it was of pure coincidence, the two don't know each other. It was accidental. Afterwards, they start to get along better, and yea, a happy ending to top it off."

Silence followed his proclamation.

"That was it?" I finally responded. "Your inspiration was from books and weather? Aibou, you can become a writer!"

He blinked. "Nani!?"

"Seriously, you can become a writer if ideas come to you so fast!"

Blood stained his cheeks. So adorable'

Yuugi remained silent. His eyes seemed to drift back to the ground again, as if there was some kind of magnetic force at work.

//Aibou// I warned him. //Look back up.//

Obedience was something Yuugi always did. His eyes, once more, lifted back up. But he wasn't looking directly at me, he was staring _past_ my shoulders, as if he was determined to not gaze at me.

Some sort of light bulb-glow went off in my head. Unanswered questions popped into my head in one flow.

"There was something else involved, wasn't there?" I inquired quietly. "Besides the books and the weather"

He sighed. I was reminded forcefully of myself earlier in my soul room. "Hai, there was something else in the works."

It struck me suddenly then that the "something" is probably "someone". A fear ignited inside me. "Who was it?" My voice came out strangled with anxiety.

Bare tranquility filled the room.

""

I was quite positive my hikari said something, but I just couldn't hear it.

"Couldn't catch that, aibou, gomen. Can you repeat it, onegai?"

""

It came out so quietly I was sure it must have been my imagination. "Me?"

"Hai, you, Yami."

Other than a little stunned at the new piece of information, I was nonetheless relieved it wasn't someone else who had stolen my hikari's heart. Imagine that, _me_!

"Oh aibou, you have no idea what that means to me," I reached over to hug him.

He returned my hug with equal strength and warmth. His cheeks snuggled into the crook of my neck. My hand finally got its desire; I finally got the chance to soothe Yuugi's velvety hair.

We held on to each other for quite a while longer. Unfortunately, Jii-chan chose that precise moment to walk in. Luckily, he knew of the importance of this, so he softly retreated back into the living room. I made a quick mental note to thank him for this opportunity.

"Well, aibou, this definitely calls for a celebration!"

"Whatever for?" He snuggled deeper, voice laced with drowsiness.

"Let's just saywe've both found what we have always dreamed of."

He nodded, and didn't look that sleepy any more. /Yami/

//Hai?//

Without the slightest warning, his lips met mine, and I knew his feelings for me were the same as I felt for him.

At that moment all my doubts cleared, leaving me a clear field of all the possibilities I can do, with my hikari beside me. Now, and until eternity.

_~ Owari ~_

**Authoress Notes:** Okay, let's keep this short and crisp. I know this wasn't the best fic I've written, it might even be a little rushed in terms of how the plot flowed, but this was done in what, 3 days? Don't expect too much right now, we just had exams, now summatives, then EQAO. The painT_T

Anyhoo, just **review**, k? ^_^ They'd helpa lot!

_Translation:_

[1] Well, I tried my best at translatingit's supposed to mean "Where are you?", but the dictionary wouldn't define the whole phrase for me. *grumbles about how dictionaries can be a pain in the rear end*

[2] Just dropping by the say that it's a _hint_ for a new story plot! ^^ Be on the lookout; I have two more dedication ficcies – one in May, and one in June – so keep posted, minna-san! *waves* Ja ne!


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